I write this letter to myself to remember the time when I did things the wrong way, whatever wrong means.
A couple of months ago I settled on late night running, or marathon, so to speak, as a recreational nocturnal activity. It was really hard to run atop those steep and stern hills. They never seemed to quaver. They stood their ground firmly as with a purpose to stop my every next step. Descending a hill was always somewhat relaxing, but the hills forced me down briskly and with an intention severe enough to make me want to halt and walk.
I resorted to executing every step in my run with all my might. It always worked. I knew when the left leg set the pace, when the right leg caught up, and felt my body cooperate to make my run. It is a truly refreshing activity. However, I was doing it all wrong. I did not know, relatively speaking, how to run. To this effect, I was increasingly suffering my knees. It became a routine to run on a certain day and limp, ever so slightly, the next day. I endured it. My tolerance grew, but I was hurting myself.
Then I searched for running tips. I was awestruck. All these people having the same knee and limping issues like me and searching for solutions. I tuned in to some youtube channel, and watched a really nicely delivered video on how to run and hurt yourself less. I diligently sucked in every lesson and dashed out on the same night to run like a good student. Well, no luck. I could not do as I was instructed in the video. And I decided to give up running. Forever! And maybe learn chess!
Later this evening, I read a chapter of The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. I laughed so hard and I became very joyous and wanted to do something I liked. Sorting through my most liked activities and eager to engage in the top item immediately I stumbled on running. Running was at the top of list. So I set out to run with little or no idea that I had given up on such an activity only a few days before. I got out, stretched a little and took off. First step, second step, third step… It felt good. And different!
I ran up the hill with a bit of struggle to catch my breath, but something felt different. The way I took off after landing on the ground felt different and encouraging. I repeated it again and again. First lap down and no knee pain. Ok! I thought to myself. Maybe the lessons from the video are now in me and are working. I then deliberately implemented the lessons ever so carefully. I was satisfied and I had a spartan run, with a bulldog determination and no hurting knees. It was a beautiful experience. And during the run I had the idea to write to myself about that experience and to document the lessons learned.
Every now and an unaticipated then, I start a task, tussle through a fraction of it and finally give up. They say those who don’t know their history are bound to repeat it. Hence, doers who pay no attention to lessons from preceding doers are bound to quit. Learning something as “trivial” as running taught me this; no, it showed me this. What I remember most about the experience is the feeling of satisfaction both in body and mind. I now feel like I can run for as long as I desire. I am now fully equipped with the right techniques and they will likely be improved.
Running the “right” way was gratifying and for some moments I felt like I was repairing my body, my knees, my mind…
If running the “right” way after running the “wrong” way is this rejuvenating, then I probably should never give up on any undertaking. When I feel like the blows of weakness, poor technique, limited knowledge, I should probably take a step back and look at my methods. Perhaps dig a little more into the history of my undertaking. For learning the trick heals the mind and the body. The “right” steps become medicine for the damages caused by the “wrong” steps. I am in no way ditching “wrong” steps. As much as I type these words, I don’t know what “wrong” really means.
Hence, self, “Never give up” and never forget to visit the history, including this one.